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Why I became a breathwork coach
A blog post by Coach Teo
I am home, I breathe
Breathing has brought me back home. Back home to my body, connecting to my nervous system, connecting to my heart.
Why did I want to become a breathwork and ice exposure facilitator?
The workshop and studies on our nervous system are only the iceberg of my health journey. One that has changed my life from survival to thrival.
Let’s travel back to 2007, when I was 20 years old. I was so lonely. I truly felt alone in the world. I had just moved to London after my mother had left Bulgaria, and I felt I had nowhere I could call home. I had no idea how to be with myself or connect to my own body. And then, in 2008 I met a personal trainer. He took me on a path of discovery of what it is like to be strong physically. Step by step I was gaining confidence in my body. I started by learning to do push-ups on my knees without collapsing on the floor. How to lunge without my legs shaking. I was working in an office for 10-hour days, lots of complaints in customer service and high stress. Training became my anchor. I was however in survival mode. I was stressed most of the time. I just didn´t know it….
As I was finding strength in my body, step by step, I started asking myself, where else in my life do I limit myself by my own beliefs... I finally saw that I do have a choice in which to make changes.
I was so lost in my career, I knew that all I wanted to do was help people and in the jobs I was currently doing I couldn´t feel my contribution. In 2012, I took a leap of faith and did my personal trainer and nutrition coach qualifications. Even though my fitness journey had already begun at that point, I believe finding the balance of a healthy body came way later than that. And this is where breath has a huge part of that experience.
First, I got strong, I mean really freaking STRONG! At 62kg body weight, I was lifting 145kg off the ground for 21 reps, I was pushing hard! I felt so unbreakable! It took a lot of dedication, pain, and perseverance and I loved it! It was my outlet.
Looking one day at a video of me during a strong woman competition, I was in shock. As a personal trainer I had valued technique above all, but this was a competition, and I was literally breaking my back! It was awful!!! I was 26, I had my whole life in front of me, I cannot break my back now! So then I asked myself, okay what else?
I started CrossFit… with good technique! For the following 3 years, I got FIT! The fittest I have ever been! My body was a machine! My mind on the other hand… I didn´t know how to take care of it, and the fitness was a great enough distraction to keep me going. I got all of my stress out on the gym floor, beasting my body, feeling the pain and then the incredible endorphins. I trained every day! My rest days were when I hiked 20km….
Looking back - I was in survival mode, my body was under stress most of the time. I found comfort in exercise and it was my crutch. I didn´t know how to connect to my mind, or how to calm my nervous system. The only calm was post-exhaustion when my body didn´t have anything left.
All these emotions and feelings, I didn´t know how to be with them, I was running away. Running away from ‘You´re not good enough,´ ´You are not doing enough,´ ´Who do you think you are to have those dreams?´’You are not worthy.´ Guilt, shame, and fear were following me everywhere I went and I had no tools in my toolbox to understand or face them.
But I persevered, I knew how to push through, how to survive! I changed 3 countries, starting from scratch all on my own, I built my business of personal training, I helped people, I trained hard, I made wonderful friends around the world, and yes, I survived!
Life was throwing me challenges and I was facing them head-on. I kept going strong!
My survival mode involved
- Regular exercise
- Connecting to the people that helped me along the way
- Not letting my fears stop me from making decisions - The book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway´ by Susan Jeffers, changed my life
- Asking myself what I truly want, and going for it
There was a piece missing, an essential piece... I didn´t know it until I found it.
Connecting to my breath has changed my experience. I am no longer surviving, I am thriving. Breath is one of the most powerful tools I have discovered. And we have it with us at all times. There are breathing techniques to calm our nervous system and there are others to train our bodies just the way we train our muscles. To be stronger and to respond to stress better.
Breath is all I need to feel at home, to feel safe, to feel everything is okay as it is... To trust that my body is home.
Having been doing different breathing modalities for over a year has transformed my experience. It is teaching me how to release emotions stuck inside my body, and how to feel free to be curious with a sense of safety. How to be held in a vulnerable space where it is okay to feel all these sensations that feel uncomfortable. And to be okay with them.
I don´t feel lonely anymore, I have me always….
I am very excited to transfer this beautiful gift forward. To help people connect to their nervous system, to live from a place of safety, security, trust and love within their own body.
I am home, I breathe
Breathing has brought me back home. Back home to my body, connecting to my nervous system, connecting to my heart.
Why did I want to become a breathwork and ice exposure facilitator?
The workshop and studies on our nervous system are only the iceberg of my health journey. One that has changed my life from survival to thrival.
Let’s travel back to 2007, when I was 20 years old. I was so lonely. I truly felt alone in the world. I had just moved to London after my mother had left Bulgaria, and I felt I had nowhere I could call home. I had no idea how to be with myself or connect to my own body. And then, in 2008 I met a personal trainer. He took me on a path of discovery of what it is like to be strong physically. Step by step I was gaining confidence in my body. I started by learning to do push-ups on my knees without collapsing on the floor. How to lunge without my legs shaking. I was working in an office for 10-hour days, lots of complaints in customer service and high stress. Training became my anchor. I was however in survival mode. I was stressed most of the time. I just didn´t know it….
As I was finding strength in my body, step by step, I started asking myself, where else in my life do I limit myself by my own beliefs... I finally saw that I do have a choice in which to make changes.
I was so lost in my career, I knew that all I wanted to do was help people and in the jobs I was currently doing I couldn´t feel my contribution. In 2012, I took a leap of faith and did my personal trainer and nutrition coach qualifications. Even though my fitness journey had already begun at that point, I believe finding the balance of a healthy body came way later than that. And this is where breath has a huge part of that experience.
First, I got strong, I mean really freaking STRONG! At 62kg body weight, I was lifting 145kg off the ground for 21 reps, I was pushing hard! I felt so unbreakable! It took a lot of dedication, pain, and perseverance and I loved it! It was my outlet.
Looking one day at a video of me during a strong woman competition, I was in shock. As a personal trainer I had valued technique above all, but this was a competition, and I was literally breaking my back! It was awful!!! I was 26, I had my whole life in front of me, I cannot break my back now! So then I asked myself, okay what else?
I started CrossFit… with good technique! For the following 3 years, I got FIT! The fittest I have ever been! My body was a machine! My mind on the other hand… I didn´t know how to take care of it, and the fitness was a great enough distraction to keep me going. I got all of my stress out on the gym floor, beasting my body, feeling the pain and then the incredible endorphins. I trained every day! My rest days were when I hiked 20km….
Looking back - I was in survival mode, my body was under stress most of the time. I found comfort in exercise and it was my crutch. I didn´t know how to connect to my mind, or how to calm my nervous system. The only calm was post-exhaustion when my body didn´t have anything left.
All these emotions and feelings, I didn´t know how to be with them, I was running away. Running away from ‘You´re not good enough,´ ´You are not doing enough,´ ´Who do you think you are to have those dreams?´’You are not worthy.´ Guilt, shame, and fear were following me everywhere I went and I had no tools in my toolbox to understand or face them.
But I persevered, I knew how to push through, how to survive! I changed 3 countries, starting from scratch all on my own, I built my business of personal training, I helped people, I trained hard, I made wonderful friends around the world, and yes, I survived!
Life was throwing me challenges and I was facing them head-on. I kept going strong!
My survival mode involved
- Regular exercise
- Connecting to the people that helped me along the way
- Not letting my fears stop me from making decisions - The book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway´ by Susan Jeffers, changed my life
- Asking myself what I truly want, and going for it
There was a piece missing, an essential piece... I didn´t know it until I found it.
Connecting to my breath has changed my experience. I am no longer surviving, I am thriving. Breath is one of the most powerful tools I have discovered. And we have it with us at all times. There are breathing techniques to calm our nervous system and there are others to train our bodies just the way we train our muscles. To be stronger and to respond to stress better.
Breath is all I need to feel at home, to feel safe, to feel everything is okay as it is... To trust that my body is home.
Having been doing different breathing modalities for over a year has transformed my experience. It is teaching me how to release emotions stuck inside my body, and how to feel free to be curious with a sense of safety. How to be held in a vulnerable space where it is okay to feel all these sensations that feel uncomfortable. And to be okay with them.
I don´t feel lonely anymore, I have me always….
I am very excited to transfer this beautiful gift forward. To help people connect to their nervous system, to live from a place of safety, security, trust and love within their own body.
