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Why “discipline” is a silly word in fitness
A post by Coach Emily
You’ve heard it, right?
If you train consistently, you’re “disciplined.”
If you don’t, you “lack discipline.”
And honestly, I think it’s a pretty old fashioned term that does more harm than good.
Not because consistency isn’t valuable, it is.
And not because we should only train when we “feel like it”, we won’t.
But the word discipline turns movement and health, which is deeply human, into something almost robotic.
Discipline sounds like control, not connection
When someone says “you need more discipline,” they usually mean:
Stop making excuses.
Do it no matter what.
And sure, sometimes we do need a little push. Sometimes our excuses do need to be questioned.
But first, we have to understand where those excuses are coming from.
The deeper issue is that “training = discipline” assumes that anyone who isn’t consistent must be lazy. And that’s just not true.
It ignores the reality that most people aren’t avoiding training because they don’t care.
They’re avoiding it because something underneath is making it hard to show up.
Stress.
Overwhelm.
Low self worth.
Fear of failing.
Fear of being seen.
Burnout.
Perfectionism.
Decision fatigue.
Pain.
Hormones.
Life responsibilities.
A nervous system that’s already running on empty.
Discipline doesn’t help you understand any of that.
It ignores it and tells you to override it.
And for many people, that “override” is exactly what pushed them into survival mode in the first place.
Motivation isn’t always helpful either
This might surprise some people, but high motivation doesn’t always create action.
I’ve seen it first hand, people who REALLY want to make a change. They want it so badly.
But that need can create too much pressure.
People find it hard to start, or start again, not because they don’t want it, but because they want it so badly that failing feels unbearable.
Especially when achievement feels a million miles away.
When we get motivated, we can set big goals and imagine the “new us”.
And instead of looking one step ahead, we look too far ahead at a person we don’t even recognise yet.
Because even though obstacles usually get easier over time, they can feel massive at the beginning. Sometimes that’s all we can see.
But what is achievement, really? What even is the “new you”?
The new you doesn’t have to be someone who does 5 workouts a week and can do 20 push ups.
The new you can be the person who does 45 minutes of movement tomorrow.
You go swimming.
You go for a 15 minute jog.
You keep going because it felt good, and you know doing it again will be good for you.
Not because you’re acting like a military sergeant towards your own goals.
Who is really disciplined?
Discipline is one big word that can sound like: “you’re doing life right.”
It’s something many of us chase, but never fully feel like we reach.
Because in just one word, it’s saying you’re capable, consistent, not falling behind.
And while those are positive things, they become hard to live up to. Because no one can show up perfectly all the time. And that in itself isn’t healthy.
When training becomes a measurement of your value, it can trigger anxiety and frustration instead of progress.
That can be one of the reasons some people avoid it.
Building resilience is a better term
I personally love the language we use at ATTIKA.
'Resilience.'
The more you do hard things, the more resilient you become to them. Your body learns how to deal with the stressor, so it doesn’t panic as much each time.
That’s why starting is the hardest part.
Whereas discipline can sound like something you either have or you don’t, resilience is something you build over time.
So you don’t have to worry about not being “there” yet. Every workout you show up to, every minute in the ice bath you take on, the easier the next one will feel because your resilience is growing.
Consistency comes from honesty, not force
As a trainer, I know that pushing people doesn’t work. Especially when it’s done with negativity.
So doing that to yourself isn’t going to work either.
Consistency comes from curiosity.
People who build sustainable habits are often the people who explore themselves more deeply. They start to understand what pulls them away from training, and they build systems that support their real life, not their fantasy life.
But you can’t learn about yourself until you put yourself through it.
I like to think the reason it feels easier to commit when you have a trainer to report to, is because we’re often more willing to let ourselves down than we are to let someone else down. And having someone in your corner who notices, who cares, reminds you that the effort you make for yourself matters.
There will be days where you don’t commit when you know you could have. You might feel guilt, and you realise you could have pushed harder that day. And that’s okay.
The important part is asking: what happened in that moment?
What need did you put first, and why?
Because the truth is, behind “I’m not disciplined” there’s usually a smarter sentence trying to be heard.
“I don’t know how to keep promises to myself.”
“I feel exhausted and I don’t want another demand.”
“I’m afraid I’ll fail, so I avoid starting.”
“I don’t trust my body yet.”
“I’m overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin.”
“I can’t give it my all so I’d rather do nothing.”
“I’m not sure this plan fits me.”
And once you work out which one is yours, you can go deeper.
Why would you rather do nothing if you can’t do it all?
Is that actually valid, or would doing something still be better than nothing?
If you’re exhausted, do you truly know that training will make you more tired?
Why not give it a go and see if it actually gives you more energy?
So what does this mean for you?
Put down the blame, and listen to what your mind is telling you.
Humans are complicated. We need more than negative self-talk to motivate us to do hard things.
Taking the leap doesn’t take discipline.
It takes honesty, curiosity, and commitment to yourself.
It means listening to your beliefs, even the ones that quietly hold you back. It means noticing the “white lies” you might have told yourself, and learning how you work.
That’s the foundation of long-term progress.
And that’s what keeps you coming back.
If this has spoken any truths to you, I encourage you to explore the questions below. They might help you understand yourself better, and make more supportive decisions moving forward.
Self-reflection questions to help you understand yourself better
1) What does working out mean to me right now?
Is it health, strength, confidence, stress relief, punishment, control, escape?
2) When I think about working out, what emotion comes up first?
Excitement, pressure, guilt, dread, anxiety, frustration, shame, boredom?
3) What usually stops me from showing up?
Time, low energy, stress, self-consciousness, feeling overwhelmed, pain, lack of structure?
4) Am I trying to do too much too soon?
Did I set expectations based on my best days, not my real life?
5) Do I struggle more with starting or with staying consistent?
Starting might be fear. Consistency might be lifestyle, planning, energy management, or all or nothing thinking.
6) What happens when I miss a session?
Do I adjust and continue, or spiral into “I’ve failed so what’s the point”?
7) Is my plan realistic for my current season of life? If not, can it be adjusted?
Not forever, just right now.
8) Do I feel safe in the environment I’m training in?
Safe to be a beginner, safe to not be perfect, safe to ask questions, safe to take breaks?
9) What do I need in order to make training easier?
Less decisions, earlier sessions, accountability, shorter workouts, more coaching, more support?
10) What does realistic consistency look like right now?
What are your real goals, and what does “consistent enough” look like to achieve them?
11) What am I afraid will happen if I really commit?
Fear of failing, fear of being seen, fear of not getting results, fear of having to change more than you’re ready for.
12) What is one small promise I can keep this week?
One session. Two sessions. A walk. Booking an assessment. Showing up.
By doing this work, you’ve already done a lot for yourself.
Be proud of your achievements, and use them to keep moving forward.
You’ve heard it, right?
If you train consistently, you’re “disciplined.”
If you don’t, you “lack discipline.”
And honestly, I think it’s a pretty old fashioned term that does more harm than good.
Not because consistency isn’t valuable, it is.
And not because we should only train when we “feel like it”, we won’t.
But the word discipline turns movement and health, which is deeply human, into something almost robotic.
Discipline sounds like control, not connection
When someone says “you need more discipline,” they usually mean:
Stop making excuses.
Do it no matter what.
And sure, sometimes we do need a little push. Sometimes our excuses do need to be questioned.
But first, we have to understand where those excuses are coming from.
The deeper issue is that “training = discipline” assumes that anyone who isn’t consistent must be lazy. And that’s just not true.
It ignores the reality that most people aren’t avoiding training because they don’t care.
They’re avoiding it because something underneath is making it hard to show up.
Stress.
Overwhelm.
Low self worth.
Fear of failing.
Fear of being seen.
Burnout.
Perfectionism.
Decision fatigue.
Pain.
Hormones.
Life responsibilities.
A nervous system that’s already running on empty.
Discipline doesn’t help you understand any of that.
It ignores it and tells you to override it.
And for many people, that “override” is exactly what pushed them into survival mode in the first place.
Motivation isn’t always helpful either
This might surprise some people, but high motivation doesn’t always create action.
I’ve seen it first hand, people who REALLY want to make a change. They want it so badly.
But that need can create too much pressure.
People find it hard to start, or start again, not because they don’t want it, but because they want it so badly that failing feels unbearable.
Especially when achievement feels a million miles away.
When we get motivated, we can set big goals and imagine the “new us”.
And instead of looking one step ahead, we look too far ahead at a person we don’t even recognise yet.
Because even though obstacles usually get easier over time, they can feel massive at the beginning. Sometimes that’s all we can see.
But what is achievement, really? What even is the “new you”?
The new you doesn’t have to be someone who does 5 workouts a week and can do 20 push ups.
The new you can be the person who does 45 minutes of movement tomorrow.
You go swimming.
You go for a 15 minute jog.
You keep going because it felt good, and you know doing it again will be good for you.
Not because you’re acting like a military sergeant towards your own goals.
Who is really disciplined?
Discipline is one big word that can sound like: “you’re doing life right.”
It’s something many of us chase, but never fully feel like we reach.
Because in just one word, it’s saying you’re capable, consistent, not falling behind.
And while those are positive things, they become hard to live up to. Because no one can show up perfectly all the time. And that in itself isn’t healthy.
When training becomes a measurement of your value, it can trigger anxiety and frustration instead of progress.
That can be one of the reasons some people avoid it.
Building resilience is a better term
I personally love the language we use at ATTIKA.
'Resilience.'
The more you do hard things, the more resilient you become to them. Your body learns how to deal with the stressor, so it doesn’t panic as much each time.
That’s why starting is the hardest part.
Whereas discipline can sound like something you either have or you don’t, resilience is something you build over time.
So you don’t have to worry about not being “there” yet. Every workout you show up to, every minute in the ice bath you take on, the easier the next one will feel because your resilience is growing.
Consistency comes from honesty, not force
As a trainer, I know that pushing people doesn’t work. Especially when it’s done with negativity.
So doing that to yourself isn’t going to work either.
Consistency comes from curiosity.
People who build sustainable habits are often the people who explore themselves more deeply. They start to understand what pulls them away from training, and they build systems that support their real life, not their fantasy life.
But you can’t learn about yourself until you put yourself through it.
I like to think the reason it feels easier to commit when you have a trainer to report to, is because we’re often more willing to let ourselves down than we are to let someone else down. And having someone in your corner who notices, who cares, reminds you that the effort you make for yourself matters.
There will be days where you don’t commit when you know you could have. You might feel guilt, and you realise you could have pushed harder that day. And that’s okay.
The important part is asking: what happened in that moment?
What need did you put first, and why?
Because the truth is, behind “I’m not disciplined” there’s usually a smarter sentence trying to be heard.
“I don’t know how to keep promises to myself.”
“I feel exhausted and I don’t want another demand.”
“I’m afraid I’ll fail, so I avoid starting.”
“I don’t trust my body yet.”
“I’m overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin.”
“I can’t give it my all so I’d rather do nothing.”
“I’m not sure this plan fits me.”
And once you work out which one is yours, you can go deeper.
Why would you rather do nothing if you can’t do it all?
Is that actually valid, or would doing something still be better than nothing?
If you’re exhausted, do you truly know that training will make you more tired?
Why not give it a go and see if it actually gives you more energy?
So what does this mean for you?
Put down the blame, and listen to what your mind is telling you.
Humans are complicated. We need more than negative self-talk to motivate us to do hard things.
Taking the leap doesn’t take discipline.
It takes honesty, curiosity, and commitment to yourself.
It means listening to your beliefs, even the ones that quietly hold you back. It means noticing the “white lies” you might have told yourself, and learning how you work.
That’s the foundation of long-term progress.
And that’s what keeps you coming back.
If this has spoken any truths to you, I encourage you to explore the questions below. They might help you understand yourself better, and make more supportive decisions moving forward.
Self-reflection questions to help you understand yourself better
1) What does working out mean to me right now?
Is it health, strength, confidence, stress relief, punishment, control, escape?
2) When I think about working out, what emotion comes up first?
Excitement, pressure, guilt, dread, anxiety, frustration, shame, boredom?
3) What usually stops me from showing up?
Time, low energy, stress, self-consciousness, feeling overwhelmed, pain, lack of structure?
4) Am I trying to do too much too soon?
Did I set expectations based on my best days, not my real life?
5) Do I struggle more with starting or with staying consistent?
Starting might be fear. Consistency might be lifestyle, planning, energy management, or all or nothing thinking.
6) What happens when I miss a session?
Do I adjust and continue, or spiral into “I’ve failed so what’s the point”?
7) Is my plan realistic for my current season of life? If not, can it be adjusted?
Not forever, just right now.
8) Do I feel safe in the environment I’m training in?
Safe to be a beginner, safe to not be perfect, safe to ask questions, safe to take breaks?
9) What do I need in order to make training easier?
Less decisions, earlier sessions, accountability, shorter workouts, more coaching, more support?
10) What does realistic consistency look like right now?
What are your real goals, and what does “consistent enough” look like to achieve them?
11) What am I afraid will happen if I really commit?
Fear of failing, fear of being seen, fear of not getting results, fear of having to change more than you’re ready for.
12) What is one small promise I can keep this week?
One session. Two sessions. A walk. Booking an assessment. Showing up.
By doing this work, you’ve already done a lot for yourself.
Be proud of your achievements, and use them to keep moving forward.
